I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
