I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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