this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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