what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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