yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
