Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
