He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
