Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
