i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize