Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
