wrigley field is MILF paradise
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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