I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
