i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
