If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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