there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
