It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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