There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
