sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
