Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
