"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
