none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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