apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
