I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
