once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
