Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
