he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
