I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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