You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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