I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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