hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
