If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
