I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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