Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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