i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
