reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
