I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
