Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
