if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
