cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
