goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
