kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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