I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
