I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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