go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just found puke in my bra..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
