Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
