He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
