Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
