? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
