I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
