mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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