You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize