You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
