question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
