thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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