as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
