I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
