i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just had sex bonerless
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
