we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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