he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
